Next to kids, out of all the categories you can wrap around groups of people, geeks have got to be the easiest to buy for. I wonder what would happen if like having age-appropriate ranges on toys there were geek-appropriate ratings on gadgets and goodies? We might see labels like, "For any cubicle penned techie", or "Object-Oriented Only", or maybe "Phor Phreaks".
Anyways, I've made a list of 10 uber cool gifts that I personally recommend for myself; i.e., if you've enjoyed my columns the last few months, consider sending any one of these items to me in gratitude.
10. The Spork - There's nothing I heart more than efficiency. Why should I have to put down my spoon and pick up my fork when switching from Dorito Crumbs to french fries? No More!
9. Soda Machine - Mountain Dew is the nectar of the gods. I used to work for Pepsi Co. you know; it was a sweet job. Remember those Pepsi points they put on their 12 packs as a total rip-off of Camel points? Well, every stinking soda machine I filled that year, I cut off those points and turned them in. I got duffle bags, bean bags, various paraphenalia, and to top it off - a Pepsi Mountain Bike - now that's styllin!
8. Digital Pen - It's a pen that writes in ink and, later, you can download all of your pages! I might actually prefer to remove the ink cartridge so that it looks like I'm not writing anything - that will keep those nosey coworkers scratching their heads at your next meeting! Plus, you'll be able to write what you're really thinking as Jane from marketing banters on about how Microsoft Word is the greatest database ever invented.
7. Hot Dog Toaster - Whoa, when I saw this baby I thought, "What would Homer do?" Nuff said.
6. Book Gift Cert - Now that Joel has updated his recommended reading, we'll all be scrambling to be the first on our block to read "For Days with Dr. Deming." Only four? Alternatively, a subscription to Books 24x7 might suffice - they probably have all those books in eTree form (note: if you live in Seattle, you have a free subscription to this through KCLS)
5. or RC Helicopter or Plane - Coders are very controlling, but we also welcome crashes as learning experiences. What says controlled crash better than indoor RC flying objects?
4. IMMORTALITY - If you've got some creepy love going for your geek giftee, then nothing beats giving the gift of everlasting life. For a slightly more romantic gift, turn your favorite geek into atree with floppy-disk fruit (5.25" or 3.5").
3. Ambient Orb - wireless wonder that changes color in response to the stock market fluctuations, IM notifications, new blog posts, and more.
2. Eco Orb - 98.5% of all Geeks' passwords consist entirely of these three letters in this order: g-o-d. Now, let your egomaniac geek friend have a dream come true with this little gem that is a self-contained enviroment that thrives for years.
1. Binary Clock - Separate the script kiddies from the top tier with a clock face that displays time in binary - hours, minutes and seconds! After all, "there are 10 types of people, those who read binary and everyone else."